


Levi Ackerman One-Shots {From the Underground}

by 90slevi



Series: From The Underground [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Drunken Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has Feelings, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Is A Little Shit, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is Bad At Feelings, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is a Tease, Minor Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer, Near Death Experiences, One Shot, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Violence, someone help these poor kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/90slevi/pseuds/90slevi
Summary: A bunch of Levi x Reader one-shots.Please read 'From the Underground // Levi Ackerman' before reading this, otherwise, you most likely won't understand some things that happen in the one-shots and it'll spoil the story <3Fluff & Angst
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Series: From The Underground [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795483
Comments: 20
Kudos: 93





	1. ~ drunk levi

"Levi, I'm back," you called, surprised by the silence that flooded the apartment. Eyebrows furrowed as you locked the door, you listened out for any sounds that could indicate your partner was in the apartment. Strange... Levi was always waiting for you when you got home. It wasn't that you wanted anything from him like a 'Welcome home' gift or something, you just wanted a hug or a kiss, or even something as simple as a 'Hello'. Paranoia kicked in when you remembered that he hadn't been sleeping much recently, especially since the previous expedition had ended in disaster, and you hoped he hadn't passed out or fainted in a dangerous area of the house. "Levi? Babe?"

Then, as soon as you lit a candle in the dark room, you heard a thud. Looking down in surprise, you saw your raven-haired boyfriend sat against the wall, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand as his head lolled to the side, looking up at you. His cheeks were flushed pink and a few beads of sweat had formed on his head, but what worried you the most were how bloodshot his eyes were.

"Levi, what are you doing!?" you exclaimed in surprise, squatting down and snatching the bottle from his hand before he could take any more. He was incredibly intoxicated and drunk, and although it shouldn't have been funny, you couldn't help but giggle at the way his arm went for the glass again, a pout forming on his lips. 

You'd never seen Levi drunk before; in fact, he was very good with alcohol, only consuming what was good for him and going home before he could get too wasted. This, however, was not what you were expecting when Hange said he was an embarrassing drunk. 

"Y/n..." he mumbled, his voice very slightly slurred despite it all. "Is that you?"

"No, it's Eren," you said sarcastically, placing the candle on the table behind you and trying to help him up. However, he was so drunk that he was just acting as a dead weight, and because of how muscular he was, it was difficult to carry him around.

"I don't want Eren," he complained, pushing you away. The room was still really dark, even though there were two candles lit, but he should've been able to tell you were a woman at least. How much had he even drunk?! "I want my Y/n, you brat..."

"It _is_ Y/n," you chuckled, realising there was no way you'd be able to get him onto the bed. "Have you gone blind in your old age?"

"I'm thirty-three!" he said, making you laugh.

"You're thirty-one," you corrected, and he pouted again, making an 'O' with his lips. God, he was adorable when he was drunk, and you were definitely going to make fun of him once he was sober again. "God, I really shouldn't have left you alone for this long."

"I missed you," he slurred, reaching up and cupping your face, missing twice before finally making contact. "Why did you leave me?"

He hiccuped twice, apologising for each one as he stared up at you, his grey eyes staring at yours. Although he probably had no idea what he was saying, he was still making sense. You hoped that, in his drunk state, he wouldn't say or do something that he'd regret. After all, when Emmett got drunk, all hell broke loose. 

"I didn't leave you," you said softly, taking his hands in yours and kissing his nose. His eyes fluttered shut and he rested his forehead against yours. He was really sweaty, and you wondered what he'd been doing while you were out. However, just looking at the marks on his knuckles said it all, and you wondered which wall he'd punched. "I never would."

"Oh," he muttered, reaching up and brushing his hand through your hair. He tugged a little too harshly at times, not realising he was doing so, but you didn't mind. In his wasted state, he didn't even acknowledge that you winced. His eyes opened again, and he looked down at his hands in yours. "I like you."

"Pfft, I can do one better than that," you said with a smile. "I love you."

"I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend," he replied sadly, shaking his head. "Funny, you remind me of her."

"That's because I am your girlfriend, you dumbass," you laughed, pulling away from him. He looked up at you, his eyes a little wider and his mouth very slightly agape, making him look like the embodiment an innocent child instead of the ruthless thirty-year-old man you were dating. "Didn't I tell you that just three minutes ago? Hm, c'mon, let's get you to bed."

"I don't want to," he said quietly, and you cocked your head. "Because then I'll have to wake up and face the fact that I lead people to their deaths."

You were quiet, unsure how to respond. You knew Levi didn't purposefully get drunk to get rid of bad memories; he'd been through it all, so what he was feeling earlier must've been dreaful. Especially for him to punch a wall. You also felt guilty not being there for him in his time of need, going to visit Sasha instead to make sure she was alright (after all, she did end up in a Titan's mouth) when she already had Connie with her. 

"But it's okay," Levi continued after a few seconds of silence, trying to stand up but stumbling a little, nearly falling onto the table with the candles. THAT would've ended in disaster if you hadn't caught him. "Because you'll be there for me, right?"

"Of course," you assured him with a soft smile, and he looked up at you. His expression was blank again as if the memories of that day had been awful enough to make him sober. But his slurred speech and out-of-character clumsiness proved you wrong. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I... don't know," he replied quietly, finally managing to get to the bed. You grabbed a bucket from the bathroom and bought it into the room in case he was sick, and you knew he wouldn't be impressed with vomit on the floor. "Thank you, brat."

"Is that any way to treat your future wife?" you joked, not realising that in three months you'd be engaged to this man. "I'm offended."

"Sorry," muttered Levi, looking at his hands in defeat. "I can't express my love very well."

"That's okay," you said, sitting down beside him and running a hand through his hair. "I still know you care."

"Good, because I love you more than anything or anyone in the world," he said, suddenly wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into your chest. You were surprised at this sudden contact, but you returned the hug, running your hands up and down his back, neck and scalp. "You know that, right?"

"Yes, and it goes for you too," you said, knowing he probably wouldn't remember any of this in the morning. However, you would, and your heart squeezed. They say that when you're drunk, you say the things that are on your mind, and those things can either be confessions or insults. They can either bring people closer together or completely destroy relationships. As much as you disliked the risk of Levi being drunk and exposing some of his darkest secrets, he seemed to be able to express his feelings towards you much easier. 

"I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass sometimes," he said quietly, only just audible for you to hear, and your eyes widened. Your heart raced against your chest and you bit your lip nervously. "I just want to protect you. I can't lose you again, you don't know how it felt to think you were dead."

"Has that been on your mind this long?" you asked, raising your eyebrows as you planted a kiss on the top of his head. "It's been eight months."

"I can't help it," he whispered, and you noticed that the tips of his ears had gone pink. "Sometimes, I'll wake up and I wonder if this has all been a dream. I have to go to you and make sure you're still there in my bed and still breathing because sometimes, I dream that I did lose you on that expedition. I even imagine that you never came out of the Underground, and because I'm that useless, I could never get you back."

"Levi, you're not useless, and you never have been," you said, closing your eyes as you comforted him. "I won't be dead for a long time and you know that, so try to stop thinking about it. I am and always will be by your side. I promise."

"Good," he said, before quickly pulling away and vomiting into the bucket you'd set out. Even when he was completely wasted, his reflexes were 10x better than everyone else's in the Survey Corps. That, or he was worried he'd muck up the bed. "Whoops..."

"How much did you drink?" you asked with raised eyebrows, knowing that he'd probably had more than he was letting on. "Levi, tell me."

"Two bottles, I think," he muttered, running a hand through his hair as he dabbed his mouth with a napkin. "I was going to share with you but you were out..."

His face had gotten even pinker, and his eyes were glazed over as if he wasn't focussing - which he wasn't. His face glistened with sweat, and he was very, very slightly trembling. If he didn't go to sleep now, he'd wake up with the worst hangover imaginable, and you didn't fancy facing a grumpy Levi again. 

"Levi, I think you ought to sleep," you said softly, pushing him gently against the bed as he blinked up at you. "You're way too drunk."

"But-"

"No 'buts', Captain," you said, somewhat enjoying being able to tell him what to do for once. Especially since he was your superior and you were never able to. "C'mon, I'll sleep with you if you want."

He hummed slightly, glancing down at the bed and then at the couch, where he used to sleep before the two of you slept together. It seemed that he was thinking about something, but you weren't sure what it was. 

"Okay," he finally answered, grabbing you by the arms and dragging you down with him. You yelped, surprised by the action, and you ended up on top of him, his arms wrapped around your waist. His breath smelt strongly of alcohol, but you tried to ignore it. Trying your best to slip beside him so you weren't squashing him, his arms seemed to tighten, pinning you on top of him. "Stay there."

"I'll flatten you," you warned, putting your elbows either side of his head and looking him in his handsome eyes.

"As if," he replied, ruffling your hair with one of his hands and causing it to dangle beside your cheeks, blocking out everything except for your face. "There we go, that's all I need to see before I sleep."

"You douchebag," you mumbled, feeling your cheeks go pink. Then, you squeaked, feeling him grab your ass. "Levi! You pervert."

"Don't call me a douchebag then," he grinned, his head lolling to the side as his grip on your waist finally loosened, allowing you to slip to his side. "Good night, Y/n."

"Night, Levi," you chuckled, grabbing the duvet and pulling it over the two of you. Eventually, Levi went to sleep.

Needless to say, he woke up with the worse hangover ever and didn't remember a thing.


	2. ~ relax

It was the middle of the night, and you were finally coming home. Exhausted and tired, you yawned and stretched your arm out, reaching for the cold metal door handle of the building you were about to enter. Since 6pm, you'd been out trying to help at one of the local orphanages after a break-in that could've ended in disaster if it wasn't for you. However, it'd physically and mentally exhausted you, and walking home at 1am in the heavy rain was the worst thing ever. Well, maybe it'd be more fun if you weren't so tired and aching all over. 

Thankfully, you were able to go back into your shared apartment with your boyfriend and go straight to bed. Even if he was asleep when you entered - which was unlikely - you'd still be happy to see him. Maybe he was waiting for you; he often did, hoping that you were safe. 

As you entered the building, a wave of warm air washed over you, and you shivered gently, the goosebumps prickled on your arms and legs beginning to slowly disappear. Unfortunately, the soggy, damp clothing you were wearing was more than uncomfortable, and you couldn't wait to slip into something cosier. The puddles in your boots sloshed about, and you cursed quietly to yourself as you began to stumble up the stairs without making too much noise. Most people would be asleep by now, and you didn't want to disturb them. A lot of the Survey Corps got a wink of rest, especially when they'd been traumatised with the god-awful expeditions outside of the walls. Hopefully, now that you knew more about Eren and the titan shifters, the expeditions wouldn't continue as often as they did. Lives would be saved.

Once you reached the third floor, you nearly collapsed. There was a sharp pain in your calf that you'd tried to ignore the entire walk back, but it was becoming rather unbearable now and you just wanted to sleep. Your eyes drooped and your back slouched over awkwardly, making you look a bit like a zombie. Swearing again, you passed multiple doors, including Hange's, and finally arrived outside the wooden door with you and your boyfriend's names marking it. Ever since your relationship had become public, Hange insisted that Levi's old apartment end up in your name too; it was only fair, after all. You even now had your own office, but you still spent most of your time in his. 

Your red and blue hand fumbled with the doorknob, and once you finally pushed it open, you stumbled inside. Pushing it shut, you fell to your knees and rubbed your eyes, tiredness washing over you again and nearly putting you to sleep. However, you were pulled awake by the gentle hands of Levi, who was kneeling in front of you and cupping your face.

"You're a mess, brat," he sighed, and you looked up into his eyes. He was pissed off; that part was obvious, but he also looked worried. He quickly helped pull off your boots as you tugged off your jacket, shivering again and yawning. Levi shook his head, and although he wanted to pull you into a hug, he didn't fancy getting his own clothes soggy. "Where were you?! It's the middle of the night, you idiot! You could've gotten yourself hurt."

"There was an incident at the orphanage," you muttered, staring at the floor as you lost focus. Levi tutted, strolling over to the bed and taking the nightie from under your pillow. He then wandered back over and helped unbutton your shirt. You were having difficulty due to your numb fingers, and you were grateful you had such a wonderful boyfriend to help you. "A gang of men tried to kidnap some of the kids, and they had guns so it was much more difficult. I got them arrested though and only one kid got hurt. But it wasn't a major injury, they just got a cut on their collarbone. They were actually aiming to slit his throat, so I think a smaller cut on his collarbone was much better-"

"Y/n," Levi interrupted bluntly, and you looked up. However, you were shocked to see his eyes wide and mouth agape. You looked down to where he was looking and you grimaced. "Did you not fucking realise someone had stabbed you?"

"Whoops, my bad," you mumbled, now knowing why your leg had been hurting so much the entire journey home. Someone had managed to stab the back of your leg, and although it wasn't life-threatening, it still needed stitches and had bled a lot. That was also probably why you were much more tired than usual: blood loss. "That's why it was painful."

"You're an idiot," Levi sighed, but he was proud of you for saving the children. He knew how much those kids meant to you and how much you didn't want them to go through the same thing as you did, so he never had a go at you for going off and protecting them even if it put you in danger. On the other hand, he didn't appreciate having to give you stitches again and seeing you in such a state. "You can't keep putting yourself in danger!"

"It was for the kids!" you complained, wincing when Levi moved your leg to get a better look at the injury. "Anyway, I would rather appreciate a kiss and a cuddle when I come back late at night instead of being lectured."

He couldn't help but give a small smile, and he reached over to give you a soft kiss against your forehead before pulling away and standing up, presumably to get the first aid kit from underneath the bed. "Better?"

"Much better," you grinned, rubbing your eyes and yawning again. You were half-naked; you'd been left in just a bra, underwear and pulled-down jeans, and although you were comfortable with Levi seeing you nude, you were still cold. "Y'know, I don't exactly appreciate being left on the floor half-naked. Could I have a blanket or something?"

"Sorry," he responded, helping you up. "Sit on the bed and put the duvet around you or something. I don't want to put you in the nightie yet until I've checked the rest of your body for injuries."

"I'm fine!" you sighed, but you knew he wouldn't take that as an answer. You kicked your jeans off, wincing in the process, and waddled over to the bed. Levi squatted down and pulled a mask over the lower half of his face and pulled out a pair of latex gloves from the kit. "Damn, I hate having stitches."

"I hate giving them," he said, raising his eyebrows at you as you wrapped the blanket around your torso and sticking out your leg for him to examine. "So from now on, you're not allowed to get injured."

"That's gonna be difficult," you mumbled, and he glared at you. "What?! I can't help it. It's not like I _want_ to get hurt."

"Sometimes I wonder if you do it on purpose just so I can pamper you when you get back," he answered as he cleaned the wound, and you flipped him off. "Y/n, you're so tired. Surely it didn't take that long to get rid of the gang?"

"No, they were out and arrested at 10," you said, and he stopped what he was doing to raise his eyebrows at you in disbelief. "But the kids wouldn't go back to sleep so I promised to stay until they all went to sleep."

"You're insane," Levi sighed, shaking his head as he got the needle ready to give you stitches. You gulped, looking away to make sure you didn't cry. You were used to Levi giving you them because you seemed to somehow injure yourself every time you trained (mainly on the horses, due to the fact that you wouldn't give up trying to stand on the back of one), but that didn't mean you liked getting stitches. In fact, you hated them. "But I like that you did that."

"I don't like seeing children in pain," you admitted, but Levi already knew that. You'd made a vow to help every child in the orphanages, and already, they all loved you. Even the brattiest of brats had warmed up to you and were becoming better people. "I couldn't help it, Levi."

"It's okay," he said softly, taking your hand and giving it a quick squeeze. "Just don't do dumb shit like this or I'll have to give you more extensive training to avoid something like this happening again."

"Damn it," you cursed, and you heard a small chuckle from behind his mask. Then, he went to work, stopping every so often to make sure you weren't upset. However, you looked away the entire time, your eyes squeezed shut as you clenched the bedsheets. He smiled behind the mask, proud of how brave you were and glad he could have a selfless girlfriend like you.

After about ten minutes, the stitches were done, and although your eyes were closed, you felt his lips against yours and his hands cupping your face.

"All done, sweetheart," he said softly, and your eyes fluttered open to see his face inches away from yours. Before you could respond, he then packed away the kit, pushed it back under the bed and threw away the latex gloves. The mask was tucked underneath his chin, and you felt your cheeks go pink. "Are you warm enough?"

"I'd like my nightie," you said quietly, and he grimaced, realising that he'd forgotten to fully help dress you. You grinned softly as he rushed over to the door, pulling a face at the soggy clothes he'd kicked against the door. He was too bothered about you to sort them out and clean the floor, so once you were asleep, he would do that. Once he passed you the nightgown, you switched from the underwear into the one-piece, but you still shivered. Levi had set three candles beside you on the bedside table, but he was wondering whether he should light the fire. 

He didn't light the fire often, as he didn't like dirtying the floor with the charcoal and dirt that the fire left on the floor, but he would gladly light it if it meant warming you up. So he grabbed one of the candles and pressed the flame against the logs. You grinned at his squatting position and gradually-increasing frustration over not being able to light the fire. 

However, soon enough, a small yet warm fire erupted in the metal casing, and he sighed in satisfaction. You clapped your hands together and yawned again, but Levi then wandered over and picked you up bridal-style his strong arms, pressing a kiss on top of your nose and perching you on the sofa, the duvet still wrapped around you like a sausage. He then sat beside you, the heat of the fire dancing around the room and tickling your skin. Smiling, you snuggled into Levi's torso, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as his thumb brushed soothingly around your shoulder. He then picked up the book he'd been reading before and continued, his eyes glossing over the words. His mind was still focussed entirely on you, and he kept giving you glances to make sure you were okay.

"Y/n, why are you not asleep yet?" Levi asked after five minutes, his eyebrows furrowed. "Aren't you tired?"

"Of course I'm tired, you fool," you said, snuggling down into the duvet and pressing your red nose against the crisp white sheets. "I'm just... thinking."

"About what? That's dangerous," he said, and you giggled. "Is it bothering you?"

"No, no, don't worry," you replied, pressing even further into his torso as you wiggled to get comfortable. "It... actually made me smile. I realised that if I help raise these children, then soon, there will be no more people like me, and that makes me happy."

"I'd like to see the world with more people like you, though," Levi muttered, and you chuckled, realising that he didn't get what you meant.

"No, I mean there'll be no more people who went through what I did," you said. "Poor children who don't have to watch their friends and family get murdered and those who were violated so, so awfully. Children will grow up like children and become wonderful people instead of murderers. I think, when I see a world like that, I'll be really happy."

"Yeah, that sounds... ideal," he agreed, tilting his head so it was resting on top of yours. "I'd like to see that too. I'd also like to see you written down in history books."

"Both of us," you chuckled, and he nodded. "Oh god, Levi Ackerman, just marry me."

"Planning to," he said inaudible, thankful that you didn't hear. A tiny smile appeared on his face as he watched you doze off, and his heart thumped gently against his chest. You looked so peaceful and pretty when you slept, whereas when you were awake, you looked chaotic and pretty. Nothing wrong with that, of course. "Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight, Levi."


	3. ~ the explosion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extreme manga spoilers! <3  
> Also mentions of suicide

The war was still as hectic as ever. Most of your original squad were carrying out plans alongside Hange outside the walls of Paradis, while you sat against a tree trying not to burst into tears. 

You'd always been someone with a strong-headed and tough personality, even more so in the past few years. They'd seemed to drag on and on, but with the loss of your best friend, it'd been difficult to hold yourself together. Even if Gabi was now on your side, you couldn't mask your utter hatred for the girl who had killed Sasha, which caused some tension between your old Survey Corps Squad and the Eldians who'd joined forces. Connie was just as distraught as you when Sasha had passed, but eventually, he became somewhat mutual with Gabi. Unfortunately, you refused.

That was just the first thing that'd completely destroyed your mental health, and now you were next to your fiance, who was on the ground with a bandage wrapped around his face and head with another around his hand. Your lips trembled as you looked at him, the only thing visible being his right eye. If only you'd been quicker, you might've saved him from this fate.

Oh, how you hated yourself right then and there. If you'd been at least five seconds quicker with your manoeuver gear, you could've gotten Levi out of the explosion and carried on with your day, but no. Your stupid decision-making landed your fiance with life-threatening injuries and a fate nobody wanted to think about. You bit your lip to stop yourself from breaking down, but it wasn't working. Unable to look at him, you stared forward at the tree in front of you, your vision becoming blurry as your eyes welled up with tears. It was getting more and more difficult to stay calm, and your heart pounded against your chest as you nibbled your thumb. The others were out forming a plan, while you insisted to stay with the Captain. Hange understood and allowed you to do so, but she was determined now to keep you safe and stop you from doing something outrageous in your state of fear, anger and regret. 

Levi hadn't woken up yet. He'd done so once when Hange found him and lifted him onto the wagon, so he understood that he was alive and what had happened to him, but he went unconscious soon after and had been that way ever since. If he passed away like that, you hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye and you were heartbroken. Shaking a little, you took his left hand into yours and held it close to your chest, biting your tongue now as you linked your fingers with his, squeezing it just as he did whenever you were nervous. It was an unspoken rule between the two of you that if someone squeezed the other's hand, then the situation was okay. Things would be fine, and you'd survive. You'd be together.

What you didn't expect, however, was for him to squeeze back.

It was very soft and very weak (which was expected), but you felt it. Your eyes lit up, and your head turned to the black-haired man lying on the ground. You glanced towards his chest, which was visibly moving up and down as he breathed, and a small gasp of air left his lips from behind the bandage. It was difficult to tell if he was awake or not, but as his eye slowly but surely fluttered open, you could've jumped for joy. 

"L-Levi!" you exclaimed, quickly masking your voice when he furrowed his eyebrows. His ears were probably sensitive after the explosion, if not completely destroyed, and you knew you'd have to be much quieter than usual. His eye looked upwards, and he made eye contact with you. Once he noticed that you were there, his body seemed to relax and he sighed out with relief. 

"Thank God... you're okay," he muttered, giving your hand another gentle squeeze. "I hoped... to see you again."

"I hoped to see _you_ again," you smiled, trying but failing to hold back tears. You bent down and kissed the only slither of skin of his that you could see, which was the small area around his eye. He chuckled a little under his breath, and you furrowed your eyebrows at him, unsure why he was even thinking of laughing in this situation. For someone who rarely laughed or was amused in the first place, this was just... complete insanity. "What are you laughing at?!"

"Nothing, I'm just... frustrated," he sighed, attempting to sit up but failing. He audibly winced, and you quickly came to his aid, helping him lie back down. "Out of all my years as a Captain, I've never been injured this badly. And for it to come at a time like this..."

"Levi, you've done brilliantly," you insisted, brushing his hair out of his eyes with your other hand and smiling softly. For him to wake up and be talking as if nothing had happened felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from your chest. It felt amazing to know he was okay, even if he didn't look it or feel it. This was just the first process of his healing, and you knew that if he was speaking like usual, then at least that was something. Maybe he didn't feel like before and was emotionally drained and distraught, but you were just happy to know he wasn't stuck in a coma or have severe brain damage. He was truly amazing. "Don't put yourself down."

"I was worried I'd die without seeing you again," he sighed, and you felt two tears slip down your cheeks as his words stabbed through your heart. "I didn't fancy the last person I saw being Hange."

"Wow, you're so kind," you giggled sarcastically, choking on your blubbering tears. Levi noticed and unlinked his hand from yours to wipe underneath your eyes. "H-hey!"

"Stop crying, dumbass," he said, as if that was supposed to help in the slightest. "I don't like seeing you upset."

"I'm more relieved than upset, Levi," you said quietly, looking down at the grass in embarrassment. Even in his moments of pain and injury, he still liked to take care of you and make sure you were okay. He was incredibly selfless and you admired him for that, although it could get him into trouble at times. "Even though you're covered in bandages and clearly injured, I'm happy to see you alive and I'm glad to know that your attitude hasn't changed a bit."

"Yeah, me too," he said under his breath, and you rolled your eyes playfully. "Although I was hoping to come out a bit more compassionate."

"You're compassionate enough for me, Levi," you said softly, sinking down the trunk of the tree and lying down beside him. Turning your head to face him, you then added, "After all, I did say yes to marrying you."

"I can't believe we still haven't gotten round to doing that," he sighed, shaking his head. "I was hoping to at least be a husband before I died. Preferably _your_ husband."

"I was hoping for that too," you chuckled, feeling his fingers take yours again. His grip was much tighter this time, but it was still weak for him. His thumb trailed circles on the back of your hand in a soothing motion, and you smiled. The sun was out and beating down on the forest while the trees fanned a warm yet not-too-hot breeze towards you. If Levi wasn't in critical condition and the two of you weren't in the middle of a life-endangering war, then this would've been a nice date spot. However, you'd accepted the fact that you most likely wouldn't end up on another date with your fiance. Even if the two of you managed to survive this war, you had no idea what your lives would be like afterwards. Would they be better or worse? Would you even have a nice house, and could you even have a family? Most likely not, due to your damaged womb, but adoption was always an option, right?

You and Levi had actually spoken about having children before, and he had mentioned that he wouldn't mind having a kid once the war was over and the pair were free to do as they wished, but you knew there was no way your body would allow you to have a child. Not after what you'd been through. Adoption had also been mentioned, but you'd never properly discussed it. 

Sighing at the thoughts of what could be, you turned to face Levi again, whose eyes were closed. Your heart dropped when you thought he was unconcious again, but the fact that he was still holding your hand as tight as before said otherwise. A small smile appeared on your lips and you planted a kiss on his cheek, even though it was covered in a bandage. He sighed audibly, and his eye opened half-way. He looked tired, and you longed for your shared bed back at the apartment you'd left back in Paradis. It'd been nearly five years since you'd left, and every day you longed for your home more. Even if it meant cleaning and dusting for five days straight, you'd do anything. 

Your mind was drifting to what could've been if the two of you had chosen not to fight in the war, but you knew for a fact that there was no convincing Levi to go home. He was a warrior, a fighter and someone determined to change Paradis' future, even if it killed him. You had no idea how he had so much determination and continued forward, because there'd been many times you'd wanted to go home or end it. At one point, the two of you had broken down after your failed suicide attempt, which had been expected of someone in the squad eventually. You knew that then was the only point where Levi had considered going home to protect you, but even if you were the person he cared about most in the world, he simply couldn't go back. He refused to let his own emotions take over what he knew he had to do. 

"What's on your mind, Y/n?" Levi then said quietly into the air, his usual-monotone voice softening as hints of emotion fell through. "Tell me."

"Home," you admitted, wiping your welled-up eyes. "I miss it."

"Trust me, I do too," he answered, turning his head so he could look at you. "But we need to finish this war."

"I hate it," you muttered, running a hand through your hair in frustration. Levi knew you were about to vent to him and you'd probably feel guilty for doing so afterwards, but he listened. He always made sure to listen to your problems, because he wanted to help as best he could. Sometimes, he couldn't help as much as he'd like to, but he knew that being there for you was as much as he could do. "It's selfish for me to think of home and of all the things we could've been if we hadn't fought in this war, but there are times where I think I'd prefer it if we stayed in Paradis. But then we'd never have seen the ocean, and we wouldn't be fighting together to bring everyone in the world together. For everyone to be equal. It's painful to think about, because I know what we're doing is for the greater good, but sometimes I wish we were oblivious. And then, I think there was a time where I wished I'd never left the Underground. I wouldn't be involved in this war, and then I wouldn't be grieving again and again when my friends died. Just yesterday I'd wondered what I'd be doing if I hadn't met you."

"What did you think of?" he asked, a hint of hurt in his tone that you hadn't noticed.

"Well, I'd probably be dead by now," you murmured, and he tensed up beside you. "Either I'd have gotten involved in something I shouldn't have, I'd have been kidnapped by Aldo and ended up in a life I didn't want, or I'd have ended everything myself. A life down there would've gotten rid of my grief for Sasha, Petra, Oluo, Erwin and everyone else we've lost because I wouldn't have known them, but then I wouldn't know love. I wouldn't know compassion, and I wouldn't know you. I wouldn't be engaged to someone I absolutely adore, I wouldn't know and feel what I do now, and I certainly wouldn't have seen the ocean. It was so... beautiful."

"So you wish that you didn't feel so strongly towards people," he said, and you nodded. He sighed audibly, and his eyes looked up towards the sky. "There was a time where I regretted bringing you into the Survey Corps so forcibly. I'd taken a life away from you and thrown you into one so much more dangerous. I actually regretted it for a long time, even when we ended up in a relationship. I felt as if I'd ruined your life, and it hurt."

"I was the one who ultimately chose to join, Levi," you chuckled underneath your breath, running your other hand through the grass underneath you and tugging at it. "It wasn't your fault. But I guess destiny has a weird way of doing things."

"Tch, you really believe in that sort of stuff?" he asked, his eyebrow raised, and you glared at him. "I feel like we carve our own paths, and although the consequences are our own to face, I don't think they're always bad. Because if if it wasn't me who'd arrested you all those years ago, we wouldn't be here today, would we?"

"True, that's so weird," you muttered, and he squeezed your hand comfortingly. "Ugh, I regret who I used to be, but if I hadn't have been who I used to be, I'd never have met you."

"Indeed," he sighed, closing his eyes again. "I like having these talks with you, Y/n. It reminds me that I'm not alone with how I feel and that the world truly is as insane as I think it is."

"It's crazy," you giggled, and Levi's heart skipped a beat.

He didn't want to die. Not yet, anyway. He had so much to experience with you and he didn't want to lose that. Just hearing your laughter was so healing and he just had to hear it more. Death wasn't something that scared him; in fact, he was expecting it sooner or later with the dangerous life he led, but what did scare him was losing you and everything you had. A tiny smile appeared on his lips underneath the bandages and he looked up at the sky. The clouds were moving as usual, and the sun shone between them. 

"When do you want to get married?" Levi then asked out of the blue, and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. "Straight after the war, or do you want to wait a bit?"

"I don't know," you chuckled, sitting up and stretching your arms and back. "I can't even think about that right now."

"Fair enough," he said, wondering why he'd asked such an upfront question. "Well, I'm going to sleep again. This conversation was exhausting."

"Okay," you nodded, not wanting him to leave you again but knowing that he needed to if he was going to heal quicker. Now that he was alive and talking, you were sure he'd make a full recovery, excpet for a few scars and burn marks. Hange had warned you that he'd possibly go blind in his left eye, but that was expected. You gave him a quick kiss to the eyebrow and squeezed his hand before he fell asleep, his shallow breaths indicating that he'd conked out much quicker than you'd expected. A small smile appeared on your lips as you stood up and dusted yourself down, a huge weight off your chest and shoulders.

Armin then turned the corner, a leaf stuck in his short blonde undercut as he cursed under his breath. Then, he noticed you, and a small awkward smile appeared on his face. He noticed that your tense expression from before had vanished, and he looked down towards Levi. 

"Did he wake up?" Armin asked, and you nodded. "Ah, that's great."

"Isn't it just?" you beamed, and the nineteen-year-old male agreed. "I don't think there's any severe brain damage because he seems to remember a lot and is thinking like normal, but we can't always tell."

"The plan is ready," he said, and you nodded. "I've been sent to tell you."

"Well then, explain away!" you said, your attitude much different from an hour ago. This also relieved some tension from Armin's shoulders, knowing that you were alright and he wasn't going to lose his good friend's bright personality.

Hopefully, things were going to look up for their futures.


	4. ~ selflessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mentioned in the letters Levi made for Y/n in Chapter 39, where you nearly die again trying to protect Jean in the massive incident in Shinganshina with Berthold & Reiner. I had to rewatch the entirety of Season 3 Part 2 again, which wasn't fun because it makes me cryyy :')  
> Anyway, this took me like 5-6 hours and is very long lol so yeah...
> 
> WARNINGS: contains canon-typical gore/violence and a LOT of angst

_"And don't go doing something shitty that'll get you killed," Levi finished, helping you out with your cape. You shook your head at him with a small smile, raising your eyebrows in disbelief. Every time you and Levi went to do something dangerous, he'd repeat the same set of rules he had in place. Try your best no matter what and don't go doing something dumb that puts your life on the line. If you have to die, at least make it worthwhile._

_"God, do we have to go over the rules every time we do this?" you asked, and he glared at you. He rarely gave you such a stare, but when he did, you knew he was dead serious and this was no time for jokes. "Sorry. I understand."_

_"Good, I don't want a repeat of last time where I thought you'd died," Levi said bluntly, cupping your cheek with one hand. The pair of you were quite a distance away from the others, which allowed the two of you to be more intimate. However, if the others saw, Levi would be disgraced for doing such a thing. "I want to see you come home in one piece."_

_"As long as you do too," you smiled, placing your hand on top of his and closing your eyes as he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. Then, you heard Erwin call everyone over, and you scattered into your respectable places. This mission was solely to get Eren to plug up the two holes in Shiganshina with his new armour technique without too many casualties. There were titans, expectedly, but they would be nothing compared to what you'd experienced in the past three months._

What you hadn't expected, however, was for this somewhat easy mission to turn into a complete disaster and slaughter.

"Y/n! Get away from there!" you heard someone yell, and you turned to see Sasha on top of the roof, watching as Reiner, who was thought to have died, stand up one last time and roar at the top of his lungs. Everyone froze in place, and Hange's squad paused. So did you, and you looked up at the rest of your squad who were standing on top of abandoned, half-destroyed houses.

Not even an hour had passed and already, everyone was in danger. A mission expected to be pretty simple had turned drastic, with you stuck on this side of the wall with the Armoured Titan, Eren's titan form, Hange's squad and the rest of Levi's squad. On the other side were Levi, Commander Erwin, the rest of the Survey Corps, the Beast Titan and a bunch of new abnormals. Everyone was in danger, and you prayed that not only Levi was safe, but everyone else was too. Reiner was on the ground, supposedly dead after a thunder spear attack, but before you and Hange's squad had gone to check, he'd stood up and roared with an intensity your ears couldn't handle. You almost stumbled with your gear, trying to cover your ears before they burst, but thankfully you were okay. For now, anyway. 

Levi, on the other hand, was very concerned. He'd left the rest of his squad and Hange's on that side of the wall, hoping they'd be able to handle the Armoured titan and whoever else was over there on their own, but without being able to see, he wasn't so sure. He knew what you were like, jumping into danger to protect others and resulting in him having to go help at last minute so your dumbass wasn't eaten, but now he wasn't there, he couldn't. Levi just prayed inside his head you wouldn't do something so stupid without the support of him. 

Also, what did that scream mean?

"Hit him with the thunder spears if we want him dead!" Hange exclaimed, getting ready to shoot again, but you knew it was a bad idea. Reiner's scream was for Berthold, and just looking at Armin confirmed it. He was a genius, after all, and if he was thinking the same as you, you knew you were right. 

"No!" Armin exclaimed, and Hange turned in surprise. "Fall back. That shout was for Berthold, and that barrel over there confirms it!"

Sure enough, there was a barrel shooting through the sky, and you were certain it was the brown-haired man you'd gotten to like in the past. Your eyes widened, and you knew you'd have to retreat quickly before he transformed or all of you would be caught in the explosion and killed. Hange and the others instantly understood and shot away in a panic, but unexpectedly, Berthold didn't transform. Instead, he shot out in human form and went straight for Reiner, who you'd assumed was already dead. 

"What's he... doing?" Sasha asked, and you glanced over the roof to check. "Is he trying to protect Reiner?"

"Probably," you answered, grimacing as you saw Berthold talk to the half-destroyed body of the blonde. "That means Reiner is still alive, and before he can heal fully and transform into that stupid titan again, we need to kill him."

"Agreed," Hange said, but before anyone else could say anything, Moblit pointed forward and shouted, getting everyone's attention.

"Look! Berthold is coming our way!" he said, and sure enough, he was. Surprisingly, he was still in his human form, and you saw the expression on Armin's face. He wanted to negotiate, just like he'd planned to do with Reiner but hadn't had the chance to. Sure enough, so did you, and you glanced over at the blonde with confidence. He knew what you wanted and he knew what he wanted, and he wasn't going to let Berthold get away this time. 

"I'm going to negotiate!" Armin exclaimed, and you followed after him.

"Me too!" you added, using your 3D manoeuver gear to land on top of a steeple opposite Berthold. If anyone was going to get through to him, it was you two. Armin was good with his words, whereas you could get people to sympathise with you. After all, you had been good friends with Berthold before and gotten along pretty well with him. You'd also helped him when he was struggling with something and he'd promised to return the favour. Even if he was struggling now with everything and was determined to kill all of you, he didn't seem the type to just... murder. 

"Armin... Y/n," Berthold hissed from the other steeple, his grip tight on his blade handles. "What are you trying to do? Make me change my mind?"

"Berthold, can we please talk this over?" Armin begged, his eyes wide. You had no idea if he was faking it, but if he was, he was doing a damned good job. 

"We don't want to fight you!" you insisted, which was true. Fighting his Colossal titan form would result in mass murder, and you didn't want to watch your friends die in front of you. While maybe you, Mikasa and Hange could escape if he transformed at that exact moment, the others definitely couldn't. "We're friends, right?"

"If I agree to talk, would you all agree to die?!" shouted Berthold, and your heart almost stopped. Was he being serious? Had his mindset completely changed in recent months? "We only want two simple things! We want Eren and the demise of humanity in the walls! That's the harsh truth of reality, you two. It's all been decided already!"

"What do you mean by that?!" you exclaimed, your eyes wide. You were tempted to drop your weapons, knowing he'd maybe feel differently, but then again, if he didn't then you were in a lot of danger and trouble. Also, what if someone or something snuck up behind you and you didn't have your blades? Stupid idea. "Who decided it? You?! Because if that's so, who the hell gave you the right to chose who lives and who dies? Nobody! We're all equal, and if that's a harsh reality for you, then get over yourself and accept it."

"Shut up, Y/n!" Berthold yelled, and your eyes widened in fear. Never had you been yelled at in such a way by someone you used to trust, and never had you expected it to be this kid. He used to be... so kind if yet a bit timid. Now he was threatening to destroy everyone inside the walls? "Your lives are coming to an end right here, right now. And if _you_ can't accept it, then... well, you don't have any option."

"That's very unfortunate!" Armin complained, and you could see his hands shaking. From a distance, he'd seem like the confident soldier he was trying to become, but from up close, you could see just how terrified he truly was. "I was hoping... I wouldn't have to hear Annie's screams any longer! The only one who can save her from the savages in the Military Police is you, and no one else! At this rate, she'll end up as feed for the pigs!"

"Fine by me! Let 'em feed her to the pigs!" he answered back, and your eyes widened. That was NOT the answer you were expecting, and you watched as he hopped down onto the top of one of the houses. You followed and stepped in front of Armin, defending him with your life and hoping you could do better. "Did you think that if you talked about Annie, I'd lose my cool again? That since I'm the meek and timid Bertholdt, you could fool me into letting my guard down?"

"You were never meek or timid," you said with a sigh, gulping as you looked into the eyes of the poor boy. He was afraid but refused to show it, and you knew he would regret everything if he did end up killing everyone. But something was telling him to continue, and that was something so much more important than everyone behind the walls. "You were afraid sometimes, for sure, but isn't everyone? Hell, I get afraid sometimes! And that's not a bad thing, Berthold! You're really going to commit a massacre? For what cause? Did you even think before you got yourself involved in whatever this is? "

"Of course I thought it through!" he scoffed, a sick smile on his face as he spoke. "You think I'm an idiot? I thought better of you, Y/n."

"I don't think you're an idiot, either. Just confused," you continued with your heart racing against your chest. If this was Levi, one of the most difficult people to crack, what would you say? And what would he do if he were in your position?

Kill him. But you didn't want to do that just yet.

"Do you remember when I tried my best to help you work on your gear skills?" you asked, staring him straight in the eyes. "Remember that night when we spoke about Annie and how much you enjoyed her company? Do you even fucking remember when I nearly died trying to protect you from a damned titan? Berthold, I trusted you. I genuinely wanted to help you. I'm from these walls, are you going to kill me too?"

Berthold was silent for a few seconds, and so was everyone else. You held your breath, praying you'd gotten through to him. Maybe, just maybe... "Y/n, you were one of the few people inside these wretched walls I liked. We had similar shitty upbringings, so I'll try my best not to kill you. Although I can't promise once I'm in my titan form. As for everyone else, I can't say the same. I know what _you_ were doing, Armin. You're just buying time. Surrounding me with soldiers and distracting me with this ruse while the others finish off Reiner! I can tell. You're standing there shaking so much, you can't do a damn thing."

"If you knew that much, why did you even come talk?" Armin asked, and you glanced down at his arms. He'd gotten even more scared while you were talking, and you went to put a hand to his shoulder to comfort him but he swatted you away. 

"I wanted to know whether, if I faced you guys, I'd start whining and beg for forgiveness again," Berthold began, staring at the ground in disgust. "But it seems like I'm fine now. Yeah. You are precious comrades to me. I also intend to kill you, but none of you have done anything wrong, and you're not devils either. But you all still have to die. That's just how it is."

"But-"

However, before you could continue, Mikasa popped out from behind him and sliced off his ear, trying to attack and kill him before he could control. You weren't sure whether to help her or try and keep convincing Berthold that he was in the wrong, but you weren't given an option. Mikasa was ready to see his head on the ground, and that was evident from the expression on her face. Armin grabbed you to stop you from getting involved, but he managed to get away. All three of you knew what this meant, and you quickly shot away. 

"Run!" Mikasa exclaimed, and all of you knew he was going to transform. 

"But what about Hange's squad?" Armin exclaimed, looking back to see them all heading towards Reiner, right where Berthold was planning to transform. "And wouldn't his transformation kill Reiner too?"

"I'm sure he's planned that out!" you answered, and you crossed your fingers, praying Hange and her squad would make it out alive. "As for those guys, we'll just have to hope they make it out alive. For now, get behind a building! He'll transform any minute!"

Then... everything happened. You could see Jean on top of one of the buildings, away from Eren, Connie and Sasha to warn you of the blast, and you knew he wouldn't make it if he stayed where he was. You turned to Armin and Mikasa and pointed to the alleyway, where they quickly hid. However, they expected you to follow, but you didn't. Armin shouted for you to come back, but all you could do was apologise. Jean watched as you zoomed towards him, and just as the explosion occurred, your hands made contact with his torso and you managed to push him down between two more houses, just a few meters away from where Eren was to protect him. 

You'd accepted death years ago, long before you'd met Levi. Meeting him had, of course, given your life meaning, but it hadn't gotten rid of the fact that you didn't fear death. Working as a Survey Corp would put your life in a lot of danger, and that you didn't care. As long as Levi, the others and everyone else inside the walls could live another day, you would do anything. Including sacrificing yourself, and that's just what you did.

The gust of hot wind was way too powerful and too quick for you to use your gear. You naturally screamed out, and you heard the rest of the squad shout your name. Eren glanced over the house, but even in his titan form, he couldn't go after you and save him without putting himself and the others at risk. You didn't want him to, anyway. Before you could say any last words, your body slammed against a building and before the excruciating pain could hit, you were knocked out cold with a smile on your face and tears in your eyes.

_Sorry, Levi._

On the other side of the wall, Levi stared in fear and concern, watching as the mushroom cloud of smoke and heat occurred, signifying Berthold had transformed. He knew instantly that you and the rest of his squad, alongside Hange and her squad, were in a lot of danger. His heart raced, and he glanced up at Erwin... only to hear a shrill scream he'd prayed never to hear ever again. He could barely hear it due to the sound of the explosion, but he was sure it was you. His fists clenched around the handles of his blades and his heart raced as his jaw dropped slightly. Erwin glanced over the side of the wall you were on, but due to the smoke, he saw nothing. 

Levi ordered the rest of the Survey Corps to get as close to the wall as possible and out of the way of the boulders that were now being thrown, but he could barely raise his voice. Not only had he just possibly lost his whole squad, Hange and her squad and his girlfriend, but he was also watching a bloodbath occur in front of him. Luckily, everyone heard and was already heading towards where he'd instructed, but it took Levi a minute to move. No... you weren't dead. His mind was playing tricks on him as usual. You surely hadn't risked your life _again_ to save somebody, and if you had, who the hell was worth your life? 

Erwin shot down beside the black-haired Captain, and the two began to discuss what was going on. However, Levi was barely listening. The only thing on his selfish mind was if you were okay and if you were alive. All those rules he'd put in place, the main one being 'Don't get killed', and you'd gone and probably broken it. His heart raced against his chest, and he feared that if he didn't act appropriately, then everyone else on this side of the wall would die.

**_Stop it, Levi, you can't think about yourself. You're on a mission._ **

_But... I can't help it._

_**You've managed to put up with everyone else dying. Y/n is just another one of those people.** _

_She's not dead. I know it. She won't die that easily._

_**Just listen to Erwin you bitch, or you'll get yourself killed.** _

Sighing to himself, Levi blocked out his contradicting thoughts and continued listening to Erwin's speech, but he realised that... he probably didn't have a plan at all. 

"The Beast Titan has a good guess where we're at. This place will look like a honeycomb soon," he said, sick of hearing his voice and not Y/n's right beside his. "Erwin. If you're saying we've got no chance to counterattack, let's get ready to flee. Wake Eren sprawled out up there. Ride him and flee with as many people as possible. At least we'll have some survivors."

"You're acting this way because you think Y/n's dead, aren't you?" Erwin said, and Levi glared at him, holding his blade tightly as if he was going to slit Erwin's throat.

"Why the fuck would you think that?" Levi asked, his voice low and in an almost growl. "I'm saying that because these kids have got no chance against that beast. And for future reference, don't mention Y/n that way again."

"Levi, you're letting your emotions get to your head again," Erwin stated, his stare ice-cold and the only one that could even possibly falter Levi. This time, however, Levi stood his ground. 

"I can't help it," Levi hissed, dropping his fists and letting go of the blades, letting them hang by his sides. "I finally find someone I can put up with and then they die..."

"I get it, it's tough," Erwin said, shaking his head. "But you were expecting it, weren't you? I saw you hesitate earlier when you realised you had to be separated. I watched your facial expressions the entire time, trying to block out the fact she could and probably would die if Berthold transformed. Now-"

"Shut up!" Levi yelled, catching the attention of some of the overly-worried Survey Corps. He froze and turned to face them, before looking away with a quiet apology. "Tch."

There was silence between the two powerful soldiers, both of their minds going at 100mph as they thought desperately of what to say next. Levi was the first to open his mouth. 

"What if whoever's left of the recruits and Hange's group scatter on horses... and try to make it home?" he asked quietly, his eyes darting to the floor as he tried to imagine you on one of those horses, riding back home to his apartment and being safe in the warmth of his bed he so generously shared with you. But... the thought of you getting caught in that explosion was so overpowering that it almost distracted him from his plan. "By using them as a decoy, you guys could escape on Eren."

"Levi, what would you do?" Erwin asked, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"I'm facing the Beast Titan. I'll draw him away," Levi answered, glancing up at the monster that was gathering up a new boulder to crush and throw. 

"Impossible," Erwin stated, shaking his head. "You won't even get close."

"Probably not," Levi said bluntly, not daring to look Erwin in the eyes. "But if you and Eren return home alive, there's still hope. Isn't that the best we can ask for at this point? I don't care if I die now. The only person I was living for is dead now, and I've come to accept that. If I miraculously do survive, I doubt I'll be able to live with myself for much longer afterwards. To be perfectly honest, I doubt a single one of us is making it back alive."

Erwin was quiet again. He had no idea how his strongest soldier felt. He'd managed to live with every death he'd encountered, even though some of the people Levi had lost were close friends, family and comrades. Was losing you the last straw for him? "Levi... that's assuming we had no way to counterattack."

Levi's eyes then lit up, but his glare was still prominent on his face. "Is there a way?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say that sooner?" Levi scowled, his fists clenched as if he was ready to punch Erwin square in the face. "Why'd you keep your shitty mouth shut?"

While Erwin explained his plan to Levi, something... strange happened on the other side of the wall. While Jean, Armin, Sasha, Connie and Mikasa came up with a plan alongside Eren, the Colossal Titan was causing more destruction and setting more buildings on fire. They wanted to come up with this plan preferably before Reiner regenerated and helped Berthold... but this plan was attacked with a vigorous amount of arguing, especially between Sasha, Connie and Jean. 

"If you weren't standing on that stupid house in the open, Y/n would never have had to come and save you!" Sasha yelled, her eyes willed with tears as Mikasa tried to hold her back. Armin and Connie were also visibly upset, but Jean was in a state of shock. Had his stupidity just... killed you? "Now look! She's dead, you idiot! What were you thinking?!"

"I didn't know she was going to do that!" Jean exclaimed, trying to defend himself. "I wanted to warn her, Mikasa and Armin! I didn't mean for that to happen-"

"And yet it did!" Sasha cried out, tears sliding down her face. 

"Sasha," Mikasa said sternly, causing the older to pause in fear of being brutally punched in the face by the black-haired girl. "It wasn't Jean's fault. It was nobody's fault. We need to be more careful and think of a plan to defeat Berthold, and then we can find Y/n."

Sasha hesitantly nodded and wiped her eyes, quietly apologising to Jean as she sniffled. Connie wandered over to help her calm down, but it wasn't working very well. This whole incident caused all of them to be distracted from what the Colossal Titan was doing. He looked down at the house he was about to pick up before hesitating. Not all his humanity was gone, and when he saw your limp body slumped over the roof, your legs and arms bent at weird angles with blood surrounding your head and body, he frowned. Looking around, he noticed a spot at the top of the wall that was completely out of view from everybody. Berthold liked you more than he'd liked the other recruits, even if he'd known them much, much longer. You were honest, kind and genuine, and you wanted to help people despite having a shitty past. As much as Reiner and Zeke would kill him for protecting you, he did it anyway. He picked up the roof of the house and laid you down on top of the wall. Even though you were dead, he wanted you to rest peacefully, even if it was still on the top of the wall in years to come. 

He watched your body roll onto its side, and he noticed that you weren't bleeding much. Yes, there was a plank of wood stabbed right into your leg, but the wound wasn't big enough to cause masses of bleeding. Turning back around to the rest of Levi's squad, he knew Hange and her lot were dead. All he had to do now was kill Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha and Jean.

Once that was done, he could get out of there.

*******

"Captian!" 

Sasha's voice was heard from afar, and Levi looked up. His head was throbbing, and he would snap at any moment. Everyone was dead except for him, Hange, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Jean and Floch, a kid who'd managed to survive the onslaught of Erwin's plan and manage to bring an on-the-verge-of-death Erwin Smith. The heartbreaking decision he'd had to make... chose Armin or Erwin to give the serum to. He was tempted to find your body at the time and give it to you, just so he could see you alive again, but that was stupid. 

"What?" he answered bluntly, surprised to see Sasha and Connie shooting over, bright expressions on their faces. "What are you smiling like idiots for? Are you brats insane?"

"Maybe, but we found something you might like," Sasha said, out of breath. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was struggling to keep her composure. There was hope in both of their expressions, and Levi was thoroughly confused. What had they found..? 

"Okay, spit it out," Levi snapped, his glare shooting bullets through their skulls. "We haven't got all day."

He really didn't. He didn't want to go home to his empty apartment. He didn't want to face the fact he'd never see you or Erwin again. He didn't want to think about the fact that the Beast Titan had gotten away. Or the fact that miraculously, Reiner had too. Deep down, selfishly, he wished he'd died in battle too. He wished he could be with you again. He didn't want this. This was so much worse than last time he'd lost you. This time, he loved you so much more. He cared so much more, and this time, he hadn't seen any white birds. Yakob wasn't going to magically come back, and neither was Monica. They were being taken care of inside Wall Sina. 

Could they feel it too?

"Captain, we found a body on top of the wall," Connie said, visibly out of breath. He'd sustained many injuries but he was still able to move around, whereas Armin and Eren were both konked out, completely exhausted on top of the wall. Mikasa and Hange were taking care of them, while Sasha, Floch, Connie and Jean searched for survivors. No-one was expecting any survivors, but this... this was news. "And she's somehow still breathing!"

"Do you know who it is?" Levi asked, raising his eyebrows at the pair. "Where are they?"

"Jean and Floch are by her body, and we were hoping for a stretcher because she's in really bad shape and we think moving her carelessly would kill her, but..." Sasha explained, almost bubbling with excitement. "It's Y/n."

Levi's entire face lit up, and before anyone could even say anything, he shot off, looking for wherever Floch and Jean were. Sure enough, the pair were crouched down on the corner of the outer wall, seemingly having a very loud argument about something. However, Levi didn't care. As soon as he was beside them, he nearly shoved them both out the way and knelt, feeling tears appear in his eyes as he brushed the clotted hair from out of your closed eyes. Sure enough, short, silent breaths dispersed from your slightly open mouth, signalling you were alive. Levi didn't care you were covered in blood, a large plank of wood was stuck in your leg and your body was twisted at awkward angles. His heart was racing and he felt a tear fall down his face as he brushed your cheek with his thumb. 

He'd never been so relieved in his life. 

"What's his deal?" Floch muttered, and Jean couldn't help but smile.

"They're in a relationship," Jean whispered, and Flock rolled his eyes as his lips turned into a small 'o'. "I know, who expected Captain Levi to be like this?"

"Shut it, Kirstein," Levi snapped, and Jean immediately shut his mouth. "I've been told Y/n was the one who saved your damned life, so don't think you're off scot-free just because she's been found alive. Next time, if I find out you made another stupid mistake like that and you put your comrades at risk, you'll be kicked out of the Survey Corps. Have I made myself clear?"

"Got it, Captain," Jean grimaced, already feeling bad he was the cause of this anyway. Hopefully, you'd forgive him eventually. That was if you made it to the hospital and lived. 

Levi knew it was risky to take you back like this, but your injuries were way worse than he could deal with. Thankfully, Hange and Sasha were rushing over with a stretcher, and the group were already being helped down the wall. He had to go with Eren and Hange to the basement inside Shinganshina, so he'd have to trust the others with your broken body, but... that was okay. They cared about you, so they'd most likely be more than careful. Otherwise, they'd have to face the wrath of him.

"L-Levi..?" 

Surprised by the voice, Levi looked down to see your eyes opened a fraction, your breathing abnormal and your hand opening and closing. His own eyes widened and he took your hand gently in his. The rest of your arm was broken, after all.

"Y/n..." he said softly, and your busted lips turned into a small smile. "I can't believe you're alive."

"Me... neither..." you sighed, coughing slightly and wincing in pain. It was clear as day your ribs were broken, and any wrong movement could cause her ribs to jab into a vital organ. Whether you'd be allowed back into the Survey Corps with such injuries was uncertain. "I'm glad you're... okay though... Levi."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Y/n," he said quietly, rubbing his thumb oh-so-gently on the back of your hand comfortingly. He knew you were flickering in and out of consciousness due to the incredible amounts of pain you were feeling and the head injury, so he hoped you would go back to sleep for the time being and the others would hurry up. Sasha and Hange managed to get over and they lay the stretcher down beside you, and you cried out when they even touched you. Levi hated this. As happy as he was to see you alive, he wished you weren't in so much pain. Part of him wished you died painlessly instead of going through this torturous pain, but most of him was glad. Then, he saw tears fall from your swollen eyes, and he nearly did so too. "H-hey! Don't cry, brat!"

"I-I'm sorry," you whispered, before finally blacking out again and losing consciousness. Using this to their advantage, Hange, Sasha and Levi all rapidly yet very, very carefully placed you onto the stretcher and, checking you were still breathing, rushed across the wall, hoping help would be there soon to take you to hospital and save your life. 

"Now," Levi began, watching as you were carried down by the Garrison and Military Police, brought over by Eren and being taken back by Eren. "Where is Kirstein?"

"I'm here, Captain..." the blonde muttered, wandering over. 

"You're lucky you're not being kicked out of the Squad," Levi said, and Jean nodded with a gulp. "But I don't want Y/n 'feeling guilty' that you were. So, instead, you'll be on my tea and cleaning duty every day for the next year. When we get back home, you'll be doing twenty laps around the dorm blocks every day at precisely 2:00pm. If Y/n wants you to do something, you'll be doing it. When-"

"Okay, okay, I got it," Jean sighed, rubbing his palm against his face. "I'm in a lot of trouble and my punishments will never end."

"Glad you understand," Levi said bluntly, turning back around and watching as four military police clambered onto Eren's back, holding a sleeping you on your stretcher as firmly as possible. Eren knew he shouldn't run and should avoid titans at all costs in fear of damaging you, but just in case something happened, Mikasa hopped on too. "But... Y/n is gonna be punished too. For doing something incredibly stupid, life-threatening and ridiculous. And for scaring the shit out of me."

The last part was very quiet, but Jean heard it. He chuckled to himself and watched as you were taken back to Wall Rose. "God, Captain. You've got yourself a real tough one."

"Yep," Levi said with a sigh of relief. "And nobody can replace her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made this because I felt super ill today and wanted to write some good old angst :')


End file.
